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Digital Transformation

Stop Seeking Approval: Your Real Life Begins Without It

Mar 17, 20255 min read

Let me hit you with some brutal honesty: The most dangerous trap in life isn't failure. It's giving a damn about what other people think of you.

I've gone deep into this problem and discovered something most people never realize - why everyone's opinion of you is complete bullsh*t. And more importantly, why the exact moment you stop caring about others' opinions is when your real life actually begins.

Look around. How many decisions did you make today based on what someone else might think? That outfit. That comment you held back. That opportunity you didn't pursue. All because of the invisible audience you're performing for.

The Devastating Lie You've Been Sold

Here's the uncomfortable truth: Society has sold you a devastating lie: That you should shape your life around expectations. Your parents. Your friends. Your colleagues.

From childhood, you've been conditioned to seek approval. Good grades to make your parents proud. The right clothes to fit in with peers. The prestigious job to impress strangers at parties. It's a system designed to keep you in line, predictable, and controllable.

This approval-seeking behavior isn't just limiting. It's slowly killing the person you're meant to become. Every time you silence your real thoughts, suppress your genuine desires, or follow a path that doesn't resonate with your core self, you're committing a small act of self-betrayal.

And these betrayals compound over time, creating a life that looks good to others but feels empty to you.

The Brutal Math of Your Finite Existence

The math is simple but brutal:

  • Average lifespan: 78.7 years
  • Time spent working: 90,000 hours
  • Days you'll actually remember: maybe 1,000

And you're spending this precious currency trying to please people who won't remember you a week after your funeral? People who are too consumed with their own insecurities to give your choices more than a passing thought?

Let that sink in. The finite resource of your life is being drained away seeking approval from people who barely think about you.

Why Other People's Opinions Are Complete Bullsh*t

Here's why everyone's opinion of you is fundamentally flawed:

  1. They're seeing you through the lens of their own insecurities and biases
  2. They're judging your entire existence on fragmentary information
  3. They're projecting their own fears onto your choices
  4. They forget about your "failures" within hours while you carry them for years
  5. They're too busy worrying about their own image to genuinely care about yours

Think about it. The last time you made a social "mistake" that kept you awake at night - did anyone else even remember it the next day? Probably not. Yet you carried that weight, possibly for years.

The Liberation of Not Giving a Damn

I've watched people transform their entire existence once they grasp this truth. The moment you stop giving a damn about others' opinions is the moment you start living authentically.

This isn't about being inconsiderate or actively hostile. It's about recognizing that your one wild and precious life is yours alone to live. The validation you seek externally can only be meaningfully found within.

What happens when you break free:

  • You speak your mind without self-censoring
  • You pursue interests that genuinely excite you, regardless of their "status"
  • You stop wasting energy managing others' perceptions
  • You make decisions based on your values, not external validation
  • You experience genuine connections with people who appreciate the authentic you

The Uncomfortable Path to Freedom

Breaking free from approval addiction isn't easy. It's uncomfortable as hell. You'll face resistance - both internal and external. People who benefited from your compliance will push back. Your own conditioned mind will flood you with doubt and fear.

But on the other side of that discomfort is freedom. Real, unfiltered freedom to be exactly who you are.

Start small. Notice when you're making choices to please others. Question those impulses. Ask yourself: "If nobody would ever know about this decision, what would I choose?"

Then make that choice. Again and again, until it becomes natural.

The Ultimate Question

When you're 80 years old, looking back on your life, which will haunt you more? The judgment of others that never materialized? Or the authentic experiences and expressions you denied yourself out of fear?

Your time here is finite. Your days are numbered. And this isn't some philosophical exercise - it's the concrete reality of human existence.

So I'll ask you directly: Are you really going to spend this one precious life you've been given trying to please people who won't remember you a week after your funeral?

Or are you ready to step into the discomfort of authenticity and develop quiet confidence instead?

The choice, as it always has been, is yours alone to make.

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